Death of A Dream…

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I must confess to you. I live a distracted, uncommitted life most of the time. Constantly giving into what is urgent / important for others, at the expense of myself – whether that be health, time, finances, passions, hobbies – you name it! It was only yesterday after speaking at an event, where I realized that I’ve let my dreams die for many reasons (a few listed below).

  • Lack of focus
  • Did I really believe in the dream?
  • Helping people build their own lives whilst not building mine

You see I’m a people pleaser – I have the disease to please. I live according to the demands & expectations of man, and not always the leadings of God and it’s something I’ve done for so long that it seems ingrained in me.

I’ve become stagnant. The image I get is someone being tossed around, dragged here and there – because my center is off (aka my relationship with Christ) The things I used to love, the desires He put in me to enjoy – I no longer do them and it’s beginning to show.

Do you ever sit and think when the last time was you…

The purpose of this website / blog is to minister to you through food, but how can I do that if I am not cooking? I miss visiting the markets, browsing for bits & pieces, taking photos and simply enjoying creating something from nothing. I’ve got so caught up in the rat race (work, life, moving home, even church commitments) that those passions in me had died.

 

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But God is funny & works in very mysterious ways! He spoke to my spirit recently and I heard:

Lioness Arise

I was like ‘really’?

 

You see, He’s been chasing me. Chasing me to come out of my comfort zone, out of my own lack of self-belief and believe that what He has deposited on the inside of me is greater than an self-limiting, man limiting or circumstantial limits that I may face. I prayed and asked him, where I had become stuck? What had caused me to shut down, and no longer push & press after those things He has for me? And as faithful as He is – He showed me.

So now I stand to the charge to not let my dreams die, because death whilst living is excruciating. Sometimes, most times even, you just have to keep going, keep pressing and not be deterred by life. I know we can sometimes be weak – trust me. Life, people had dulled my boldness, or should I say I had allowed them too, but we cannot be defined by those things or people.

I’d never really seen commitment modelled, until I met Christ.

In all honestly I’ve never been committed to myself, or never really thrown myself 100% at anything…but it’s never too late.

With the last year of my 20’s around the corner, I decide to make the changes necessary needed today.

The great thing about God however, is that He is a resurrector of dead things. There’s nothing dead in His hands. I mean, He resurrected Jesus FROM the DEAD, so there’s NOTHING that He cannot do. He has all power, and given Jesus power to overcome the world! That’s enough for me. Anything dead ion my life or hands, that’s in His will – I’m excited to see it come back to life. Like a lion & a lioness, we cannot rest until we’ve accomplished our purpose and I will not rest until I’ve accomplished mine.

 

Who’s with me??

 

Numbers 23:24 (NIV)
“The people rise like a lionessthey rouse themselves like a lion, that does not rest till it devours its prey and drinks the blood of its victims.”

Love EML xx

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