Uni is over. Finished, completed, never to return again! PRAISE. GOD!
I have to say it was one of the most testing times of my life – however in reality I thank the Lord for the lessons along the way!
Uni finished last week and in all honesty, I’ve seemed to have struggles to remove myself from the uni mindset…as I go about my day I’m asking myself ‘Elisha, do you have coursework?’ ‘Any outstanding work left?’ Jheeze, I need to give myself a break but when something has been your life for so long sometimes its hard to break away from it!
Through uni I was pushed to emotional and mental limits that I can say I had not faced before; let’s just say University was my Golaith! It was a giant that without being able to pull out energy and strength from within, it would have defeated me! I cried, I shouted, I whaled, I wanted to give up…IN FACT at some points I even GAVE UP! Threw in the towel, threw my toys out the pram…why because it hurt so bad and I COULDN’T TAKE THE PAIN OF THE GOING THROUGH! However, now it is over I can honestly say it is well worth every single emotion…every tear and every frustration! If only I’d remembered that I already have the VICTORY through the blood of JESUS! That he never goes to battle and returns defeated! Emotions hey…those things…and this leads onto my next topic quite nicely!
I can honestly say that because it has been a part of my life for so long (and by the way it’s idolatory and a sin towards God) its become a habit!
When I first became single after being in a relationship for 6 years – the immediate emotion of fear hit me! ‘What am I going to do now?’ And like a baby, the Lord had to wean me away from the bossom to the bottle – from dependency to independence, and to dependence on Him! He weaned me away from self-pity, made me take responsibility for any actions that I had acted out before, any wrong ways of thinking as we are reminded that we must ‘Be constantly renewed in the renewing of our minds…’
Where am I going with this…that self-pity takes a choice to move away from and pain to go through but after the process of weaning, wining and crying we come out an adult! I’m currently in the process of making a daily choice and reminding myself of Joyce Meyre’s quote –
‘You can be pitiful or powerful, but you cannot be both’.
I refuse to cry ‘what about me anymore’…I refuse to be looked upon as that woman who is never content – I choose to be content in my season of life…as in all honesty its our flesh which we fight against daily…my flesh may want to have a pity party but as a Woman created in the image of the Most High I’ve no time for self-pity in my life; time is precious and it cannot be wasted! I was created as a help-meet; created for a purpose!
If only we could divide the truth from the fact –
FACT: I’m struggling right now and I FEEL like giving up!’
TRUTH: Phillipians 4:13 – I can do ALL things through CHRIST who STRENGHTENS ME’.
FACT: ‘All my friends are getting married, having babies, seem to have their careers…blah, blah, blah…
TRUTH: Ecclesiates 3:1 ‘For EVERYTHING there is a SEASON, a time for EVERY activity under heaven!
Ecclesiates 3:2 – ‘ A time to PLANT and a TIME TO HARVEST’.
I guess what I’m trying to say is be content…let the Lord do his perfect work and in your season you shall reap a harvest! Beyond your imagination…live in hope, not in self pity.